Commando Getting a Remake, WTF!?

If you’ve been with us for any amount of time you know that the movie Commando has pretty much been our Bible.  It’s the reason Brian and I started the Kick Ass Movie Podcast which morphed into the site you’re reading now.  I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen it, it’s gotta be at least 20.  Which is why it’s terrifying to hear that Fox has been planning a remake for a while now and has recently cemented the writer/director.  Training Day writer David Ayer is the man they’ve gotten for the job; Ayer also directed Harsh Times and Street Kings.  He wants to do a more realistic take on the story, with the main character being less brawny and more adapt at covert ops.  That couldn’t be farther from what Commando is.  Commando is John Matrix carrying a fucking entire tree through the woods, tearing a phone booth out of the ground and throwing it over his head, dropping guys off cliffs and using the arsenal of a small country to kill 80+ faceless goons.  There is no way that you can call something Commando and capture the magic of the original, especially without Arnold’s amazing one liners and slow turns.  I’m normally neutral about all these remakes but Commando is a sacred cow, you mess with it and things are going to get ugly.  OK, Rant over, at least until the next episode of the Everything Actioncast (teaser!)