The 7th Annual Kick Ass Awards
It’s time once again to celebrate the best of last year in categories that put the Oscars to shame. You can keep your stodgy, “Best Cinematography” award, we’ll take Ass Kicker of the Year. Join us as we award that prestigious award along with all the best and the worst that 2012 had to offer, including the Kick Ass Movie of the Year.
“Damn Nature, You Scary!” Award: The Grey
Most Kick Ass Adaptation of Shakespeare: Coriolanus
Most Unwelcome Return: Hammer Films with The Woman in Black
The Scorpion King Award for Best Transition to Acting: Haywire
Best Telekinetic Rampage: Andrew in Chronicle
Best Navy Recruitment Video: Act of Valor
Biggest Taylor Kitsch Disaster: John Carter
Best Person to Party With: Sam Jones in Ted
Best Cameo: Liam Neeson in The Dark Knight Rises
Most Shockingly Great Remake: 21 Jump Street
Worst Attempt to Edit Violence for a PG-13: Taken 2 (Runners Up: Hunger Games, Red Dawn)
Best Assault on an Apartment Building: Dredd (Runner Up: The Raid: Redemption)
“At Least it was Better than the First One” Award: Wrath of the Titans
Most Insanely Awesome Ending: Cabin in the Woods
Best Kurt Russell Impression: Guy Pearce in Lockout
Movie Most Resembling a Nic Cage movie not starring Nic Cage: The Raven
“That’s Enough Tim Burton” Award: Dark Shadows
Dumbest Adaptation of a Board Game: Battleship
Willenium Award: Men in Black 3
Most Unanswered Questions: Prometheus
Worst Adaptation of a Book: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Least Thought out Plan: The Lizard in Amazing Spider-Man
Most Disgusting Relationship: Savages Three-Way
Best PSA for Drug Use: The Bourne Legacy
Best Representation of Everything Action: The Expendables 2 Finale
Best Stop Motion, Family, Horror Movie: ParaNorman
Most Ridiculous Tom Hardy Voice: The Dark Knight Rises (Runner Up: Lawless)
Most Obscure Occupation to Base a Movie On: Bike Messengers in Premium Rush
Franchises that Should Just Combine: Resident Evil/Underworld
Best Use of Time Travel: Looper
Thank God It’s Over Award: Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2
Most Awkward Cameo by the Director: Tarantino in Django Unchained
Most Complicated Character Back story: Statham in Safe
Most Awesome Tom Cruise movie, Presented by Tom Cruise: Jack Reacher
Best Villain: Jean Villain in Expendables 2
Runners Up: Calvin Candie, Silva, Bane
Best Return to Form: Skyfall
Best Fight Scene: Stallone vs Van Damme in The Expendables 2
Best Use of Practical Effects: Django Unchained
Lincoln Hawks Memorial Over the Top Award: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
The Direct to DVD Award Powered by Steven Seagal Lightning Energy Drink: Maximum Conviction
(Runner Up: Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning)
The Jason Statham Award for Excellence in Stathaming: The Expendables 2
Ass Kicker of the Year: Judge Dredd
Runners Up: Mallory Kane, Barney Ross, Hulk, Django, James Bond
Kick Ass Movie of the Year: The Avengers
Runners Up: Skyfall, The Dark Knight Rise, Dredd, The Expendables 2
