The 8th Annual Kick Ass Awards

It’s that time of year when the “best” movies are awarded at the Oscars but Everything Action is here to award the movies you actually saw and care about with the best and worst in movies of 2013 recognized for the 8th Annual Kick Ass Awards.

Best Visual Style: Only God Forgives

Best Look into the Mind of Elijah Wood: Maniac

Best Cancelling Out of Crazy: Nicolas Cage and John Cusack in The Frozen Ground

Best Catchphrase: “You Owe Me a Life!” from Man of Tai Chi

Worst Ending: Mama

Biggest Mind Fuck: John Dies at the End

Most Welcome Return: Arnold in The Last Stand and Escape Plan

Most Oscar Winners used to Tell Dick Jokes: Movie 43

Best Fight Scene (Human): Axe Battle in Bullet to the Head

Best Fight Scene (Non Human): Gypsy Danger vs Kaiju in Hong Kong

Worst and Most Inaccurate Title: The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia

Series That Should Probably End: Die Hard

Most Insane Twist: Safe Haven (Runner Up: Phantom)

The Rock is My Anti-Drug Award: Snitch

Best Action Reimagining of a Fairy Tale: Jack the Giant Slayer

Best “Die Hard in the White House” Movie: Olympus Has Fallen

Best Magical Rivalry: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Best Franchise Improvement: GI Joe (Runner Up: The Wolverine)

Best Crime Thriller from Across the Pond: Welcome to the Punch

Best Ryan Gosling Crime Drama: The Place Beyond the Pines

Most Practical Blood Used: Evil Dead

Best Return in 3D: Jurassic Park

Best Post Apocalyptic Earth: Oblivion

Best Kept Secret: Who “The Mandarin” Was in Iron Man 3

Worst Kept Secret: Khan in Star Trek Into Darkness

Movie That Indulges the Director’s Worst Tendencies: Pain & Gain and Michael Bay (Runner Up: Roland Emmerich and White House Down)

Best Parties Hosted by Leonardo DiCaprio: The Wolf of Wall Street

Best Defying of Physics: Furious 6’s Bridge Sequence

Was this a Comedy? Award: The Hangover Part III

Most Surprisingly Fun: Now You See Me (Runner Up: World War Z)

Cool Concept, Bad Movie Award: The Purge

Best Apocalyptic Comedy: This is the End (Runner Up: The World’s End)

Best Movie That Resulted from a Weekeend at Joss Whedon’s House: Much Ado About Nothing

Most Destructive Fight Scenes: Man of Steel

Best Homage to Revenge of the Nerds: Monster University

Best Buddy Cops: Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg in 2 Guns

Best Names: Pacific Rim

Most Ridiculous Accent: John Travolta in Killing Season

Worst Attempt to Replicate Men in Black: RIPD

Best After Credits Scene: The Wolverine

Most Disappointing Follow Up: Elysium from Neill Blomkamp

Movie That is Literally “Best of the Best” With Dancing: Battle of the Year

Best Exaggerated Rivalry: Rush

Best Return to Form: Riddick

Weirdest Subplot: DeNiro’s quest to fix brown water in The Family

Best Movie to Feel Like You Are On Stage: Metallica: Through the Never

Best Movie Where You Have to Remind Yourself to Breathe: Gravity

Most Anticipated Team Up: Arnold and Sly in Escape Plan

Biggest Historical Injustice: 12 Years A Slave

Best Scene Stealer: Olaf in Frozen

Best Marvel Cinematic Universe Entry: Thor: The Dark World

Most Shockingly Awful: The Counselor

Biggest Earworm: “Getaway” from Arrested Development (Runner Up “Let It Go” from Frozen)

Most Ridiculous Hair: American Hustle

Best Hype Train: Anchorman 2

Best Pranks: Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa

Best Series Finale: Breaking Bad (Runners Up: Spartacus, Burn Notice)

Best Superhero Show: Arrow

Lincoln Hawk(s) Memorial Over the Top Award: Sharknado

Jason Statham Award for Excellence in Statham: Redemption (Runner Up: Homefront)

Direct to DVD Award Presented by Steven Seagal Lightning Energy: Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox

Ass Kicker of the Year: Superman (Runners Up: Mike Banning from Olympus Has Fallen, Jimmy Bobo in Bullet to the Head, Thor in Thor: The Dark World, Tiger Chen in Man of Tai Chi)

Kick Ass Movie of the Year: Pacific Rim (Runners Up: Man of Steel, Thor: The Dark World, Olympus Has Fallen, Bullet to the Head, The Last Stand, Escape Plan)