It’s that time of year when the “best” movies are awarded at the Oscars but Everything Action is here to award the movies you actually saw and care about with the best and worst in movies of 2013 recognized for the 8th Annual Kick Ass Awards.
Best Visual Style: Only God Forgives
Best Look into the Mind of Elijah Wood: Maniac
Best Cancelling Out of Crazy: Nicolas Cage and John Cusack in The Frozen Ground
Best Catchphrase: “You Owe Me a Life!” from Man of Tai Chi
Worst Ending: Mama
Biggest Mind Fuck: John Dies at the End
Most Welcome Return: Arnold in The Last Stand and Escape Plan
Most Oscar Winners used to Tell Dick Jokes: Movie 43
Best Fight Scene (Human): Axe Battle in Bullet to the Head
Best Fight Scene (Non Human): Gypsy Danger vs Kaiju in Hong Kong
Worst and Most Inaccurate Title: The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia
Series That Should Probably End: Die Hard
Most Insane Twist: Safe Haven (Runner Up: Phantom)
The Rock is My Anti-Drug Award: Snitch
Best Action Reimagining of a Fairy Tale: Jack the Giant Slayer
Best “Die Hard in the White House” Movie: Olympus Has Fallen
Best Magical Rivalry: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Best Franchise Improvement: GI Joe (Runner Up: The Wolverine)
Best Crime Thriller from Across the Pond: Welcome to the Punch
Best Ryan Gosling Crime Drama: The Place Beyond the Pines
Most Practical Blood Used: Evil Dead
Best Return in 3D: Jurassic Park
Best Post Apocalyptic Earth: Oblivion
Best Kept Secret: Who “The Mandarin” Was in Iron Man 3
Worst Kept Secret: Khan in Star Trek Into Darkness
Movie That Indulges the Director’s Worst Tendencies: Pain & Gain and Michael Bay (Runner Up: Roland Emmerich and White House Down)
Best Parties Hosted by Leonardo DiCaprio: The Wolf of Wall Street
Best Defying of Physics: Furious 6’s Bridge Sequence
Was this a Comedy? Award: The Hangover Part III
Most Surprisingly Fun: Now You See Me (Runner Up: World War Z)
Cool Concept, Bad Movie Award: The Purge
Best Apocalyptic Comedy: This is the End (Runner Up: The World’s End)
Best Movie That Resulted from a Weekeend at Joss Whedon’s House: Much Ado About Nothing
Most Destructive Fight Scenes: Man of Steel
Best Homage to Revenge of the Nerds: Monster University
Best Buddy Cops: Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg in 2 Guns
Best Names: Pacific Rim
Most Ridiculous Accent: John Travolta in Killing Season
Worst Attempt to Replicate Men in Black: RIPD
Best After Credits Scene: The Wolverine
Most Disappointing Follow Up: Elysium from Neill Blomkamp
Movie That is Literally “Best of the Best” With Dancing: Battle of the Year
Best Exaggerated Rivalry: Rush
Best Return to Form: Riddick
Weirdest Subplot: DeNiro’s quest to fix brown water in The Family
Best Movie to Feel Like You Are On Stage: Metallica: Through the Never
Best Movie Where You Have to Remind Yourself to Breathe: Gravity
Most Anticipated Team Up: Arnold and Sly in Escape Plan
Biggest Historical Injustice: 12 Years A Slave
Best Scene Stealer: Olaf in Frozen
Best Marvel Cinematic Universe Entry: Thor: The Dark World
Most Shockingly Awful: The Counselor
Biggest Earworm: “Getaway” from Arrested Development (Runner Up “Let It Go” from Frozen)
Most Ridiculous Hair: American Hustle
Best Hype Train: Anchorman 2
Best Pranks: Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
Best Series Finale: Breaking Bad (Runners Up: Spartacus, Burn Notice)
Best Superhero Show: Arrow
Lincoln Hawk(s) Memorial Over the Top Award: Sharknado
Jason Statham Award for Excellence in Statham: Redemption (Runner Up: Homefront)
Direct to DVD Award Presented by Steven Seagal Lightning Energy: Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox
Ass Kicker of the Year: Superman (Runners Up: Mike Banning from Olympus Has Fallen, Jimmy Bobo in Bullet to the Head, Thor in Thor: The Dark World, Tiger Chen in Man of Tai Chi)
Kick Ass Movie of the Year: Pacific Rim (Runners Up: Man of Steel, Thor: The Dark World, Olympus Has Fallen, Bullet to the Head, The Last Stand, Escape Plan)
