The Mullet has a long and sordid history, according to Urban Dictionary a mullet is:
“A hairstyle in which the front is cut trim, but the back is long, left wild and often uncut. Even when the back is cut, it is still longer than the front. Alternate names include: Ape Drape. Beaver Paddle. Bi – Level. Camero Cut. Buisness in the front, Party in the back. Canadian passport. Coupe Longveuil. El-camino. Hockey hair. Kentucky waterfall. Missouri comprimise. Mudflap. Neckwarmer. Ranchero. Shlonc (short + long). Achy-breaky-bad-mistakey. Soccer rocker. Squirrel pelt. Tennessee tophat. Yep-nope.”
Many men of action have worn the mullet and today we look at five of the greatest.
5. Nicolas Cage
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJvnw3ycBOc
Nicolas Cage could have his own top 5 list of ridiculous hairstyles. In fact, the Nicolas Cage Law of Movies states that the worse his hairstyle, the worse the movie. Con Air is probably the exception because although he has one of the trashiest mullets ever the movie is still awesome. Cage plays Cameron Poe, an Army ranger who is imprisoned for manslaughter after a bar fight. On his flight home the plane is taken over by John Malkovich and his merry band of murders. Armed with his training, a wife beater and his mullet he must take the plane back. The key mullet scene is probably when Poe is running away from an exploding jet plane in slow motion.
4. Jean Claude Van Damme
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG7mkW-jq6c
Van Damme is no stranger to the mullet (see Timecop) but Hard Target is like the textbook definition of a kick ass mullet. Just look at the damn thing, it’s magnificent. The movie should have been just called “Hard Mullet”. Also, since it’s directed by John Woo there are tons of over the top slow motion scenes where the mullet is flowing. Chance Boudreaux, you cajun son of a bitch, well done.
3. Slyvester Stallone
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwlQ0qJxaGo
A mullet is probably the most logical choice for John Rambo. A) There’s not really any barbers in Vietnam, especially after you blow it up and B) he’s gotta tie that headband around something. Rambo rocks the mullet through all three of the original movies and then he brought it back for the fourth one. Way to stay consistent Sly!
2. Richard Dean Anderson
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w-oDZSLUrY
Man, MacGyver was such a great show. I wonder if his amazing mullet helped him come up with all those harebrained solutions. For seven seasons Macgyver did whatever secret agents in the 80’s did and used things like chewing gum, paper clips and tin foil to make things like bombs. He also somehow made a coffin into a jet ski. Fellow 80’s stars the A-Team took all 4 members to come up with their solutions. None of them had mullets so what does that tell you?
1. Chuck Norris
video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d55RUgUbW3g
If you look up “mullet” in the dictionary you’ll see, “see Chuck Norris”. From The Octagon all the way to Walker, Texas Ranger Chuck has rocked the mullet like no one else. Bonus points for rocking the Van Damme “Hard Mullet” in Sidekicks. Yes, Chuck deserves a liftime mullet achievement award for his many years of kicking ass with business in the front, party in the back.